It’s quite ironical that today on Father’s day I sat down to write a few words about dad. While doing the research I came across a letter which I had written to him a couple of years ago and there it was. I don’t think any more words were required to complete this. Yes, It is a personal letter but it is still relevant to any father child relationship, as I feel the core issues always remain the same.
Since the day this letter was written my life took a turn for the worse and sent some very hard lessons across my way. My father has stood by me all along like a rock. Guess I had surely done some good karma in my past life to get to choose him as a father in this life. So here is what I had written
I don’t think I have yet overcome the block in my head to express what I really feel for you in person and have hence chosen the option which I am better at in this context i.e. writing.
I have always been an open critic of yours since the teenage years when I saw my ‘business empire’ bubble burst when we hit a financial crises. But today as I am older and a father myself, I understand you better as a father and as a human being. Research states that the way we grow up and all related issues deal with the way our relationships have been with the father. While I was busy learning and experiencing this aspect, I will turn seven as a father this year. This letter of course is not about my reflections on fatherhood but it is my acknowledgement of you as a good father.
You have raised me on two very strong foundations which are my pillars of strength till date as I face the challenges of life. They are the love for music and understanding the importance of being spiritual.
By playing the lovely sitar strings, which as a child and teenager I never appreciated, somewhere sub-consciously they made a place in my heart. As a rebel I took to listening to Rock music but I never understood that the underlying love of guitar strings had its foundation in the lovely sitar strings which you always played. I was too shy or call it egoistic to ever appreciate that quality of yours. But I do now. Thank you for that. Appreciation of music of all kinds does make my world go around
They say that if you play a musical instrument with love then in that moment you are closest to god. I guess you derived the appreciation of the cosmic space from this. Again, an area of my critique where I always told you not to throw philosophy at me. While I tried to block your sensible words, each one of them seeded themselves somewhere in my head and heart. The presence of saints at The Nest and your appreciation of the divine has helped me understand myself and my surroundings better. It has taken me a while to get there but then the journey is always the most important part. You started me on that journey of discovery and I can never thank you enough for that. May be it was the destiny of this soul to be your son and learn how life needs to be viewed and lived.
I don’t know what the future holds for us. But always remember that you have been great as a father to me and have done the best you could. No poisonous words from my mouth can ever replace these words written from the heart. If you think they ever do then please read this letter again.